October 2009
molly: barry's all over h1n1. he's totally going to kick its ass.
mel: yeah, well hopefully not before i get out of work next tuesday
molly: you still think getting swine flu is the best way to ensure you're first in line for jojo at the wiltern?
mel: i just took a ride on the metro and licked every single seat.
mel: twice.
molly: the metro? well, that's certainly a good place to try. too bad you can't go in to trader joe's anymore after what you pulled on friday.
mel: nah, forget it. they're all too healthy there to have swine flu. beside, if a grocery store cant handle me putting their credit card machine styluses in my mouth, then i don't want to shop there anyway.
molly: why don't you just fake sick? i'm sure you don't want to be at jojo with h1n1 anyway.
mel: goddamnit, molly. i will stop at nothing to see jojo, even if it means i have to infect myself and a room full of los angeles tweens.
molly: bring me back a t-shirt.
Five things I'd take with me if I had to live on a...
jakec:
Straightening iron (Nicky Clarke)
Root Booster
Silver cowboy boots
Kings of Leon CD
Bamboo drainpipes (for the New Wave castaway)
I feel like you’d regret all of those choices within an hour of being on the island, with perhaps the exception of your hipster pipes.
Watchslippy:
Wow. Dont’ steal bikes, bro. (via Allan)
Details.
The dude stealing the bike looks like such a puss.
fuck you.
Me: Have you seen Cry Baby?
Eric: No, but I'm dating one.
Me: I am a cry adult.
“Is Jared Leto a ‘human mashup’ of Zooey Deschanny + Benjy Gibby?”
– Hipster Runoff
“I’m so fucking tired of people hating on LA and my “hollywood” friends - why do...”
– me (via suckafuck)
Morrissey Collapses -- Rushed to Hospital →
omg feel better.
“He looked weird in the books. He looked like a sicko.”
– My 19 year old dinner date, Matthew, a loyal fan of my empire who I went to dinner and coffee with tonight, on why he preferred the Arthur cartoon over the Arthur books.
Matthew was hilarious and charming. He had on a blazer with fabulous beaded shoulders and he described his hair cut by saying it...
“She’s a flake. I’m tired of celebrities talking about sobriety and personal...”
– A commenter a EvilBeet about this Jodie Sweetin post.
I love that he calls her a flake. I feel like that’s only something you can say about someone you know. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it used in such an unintentionally hilarious way ever.
The Dealbreaker Index →
Give these kids a book deal. C’mon.
