This is the most beautiful song I’ve ever...
just watching RHOBH for the first time, really
How embarrassing for Kyle to throw shade on Brandi for saying “cock” when her most famous family member (ha) is widely (haha) known for sucking one in a sex tape.
Me: I'm the best child you've ever had.
Mom: No. I've had better. I just gave them up for adoption too early to appreciate them.
Shannon put peanuts and crackers in some crazy good chicken noodle tonight to make it “Chinese.” I celebrate this.
my friend shannon and i are livestreaming from my... →
Terrified of this Christmas bathroom terrorist.
another awesome hellogiggles live show is coming... →
this one’s all about reality TV and is hosted by my husband/bestest frond, Ed! Get tickets nowwww!
If whomever left their long, crazy pubic hair in the public bathroom I just used steps forward, I will pay to have their snatch lasered.
Would you have sex with Ryan Gosling if he was your mom on the inside?
Every moment I spend alone is a moment that I spend panicked that I have an undetectable strain of HPV that’s eating away at my reproductive system and that someday, I’ll have to have a conversation with my future husband like the one in For Colored Girls, where that one lady explains that she can’t be the mother to his children because she made a careless mistake in college. I...
This Is Some Sh*t: Mother & Some Bussdown Fighting For Trying To F*ck The Moms Husband! Dude.
Flat sheets and I have never gotten along. I’m not a naturally neat person, so I rarely make my bed. Discarding the flat sheet from a new sheet set is a decision I’ve been making since I started college, which was the first time in my life that I could throw my middle fingers into the sky and say, “Fuck you, mom! Fuck you, world! I’m going to raw dog the duvet, because I...
I watched Beaches with a former love interest tonight and we both cried when Victoria Cecilia asked to keep her cat. It was awesome.
I keep rewatching Young Adult because it’s one of those movies where each line sits with you differently each time you watch it. When Mavis goes to Matt’s after Buddy’s baby naming party and she’s soaked in shitty sangria, standing in a room covered with action figures and she says, “I’m crazy. And no one loves me. You don’t love me,” and Matt says,...
ned hepburn interviewed me for interview magazine →
As Ned says in the opening paragraphs, we knew each other when we were both pretty new to LA and struggling pretty hard. It was kind of a blast to talk to him about this stuff. ALSO: Just want to point out that I did this interview about five minutes after waking up after being at work until 2 AM, so I pretty CLEARLY am jumbled in a couple of my answers. I was processing the questions asked to me...
After Manny’s abortion, Degrassi: TNG’s third season got incredibly weak. There are two episodes based on John Hughes movies, “Take On Me”, where Hazel, Jimmy, Ellie, Sean and Toby have to do Saturday detention à la The Breakfast Club and “I Want Candy”, where Paige, Spinner and Ashley go on the lamest possible version of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, which...