Big news! I started a new website with my partners Sophia Rossi and Zooey Deschanel! Today’s our soft launch, but in a very short amount of time you’re going to see a fully loaded website with all sorts of amazing content. Please check out our first video (which features Rob Delaney, Shelby Fero, Jill Kushner, Tess Lynch and her LOVELY fiance, as well as many other faces...
redhotandrosey asked: Casey singing ".... because you're mine" to Haley at the end of American Idol tonight? I think it was confirmation of them being an item. It was cute! I liked it. What did you think?
army wivez update →
Some cool stuff has been happening on the base.
Hey, guys. I’m a big fan of the show Happy Endings and the people that worked on it, so if you can do me a solid and tune in to ABC at 10 PM, I’ll owe you one. If you’re a Nielson family, I’ll owe you like, five or six. Please reblog this and help spread the word. Thank you! P.S. Hey, comedy nerds: Paul Scheer’s on tonight’s episode.
PLZ ADVISE →
thisrecording: time for a fresh edition of plz advise, the molly mcaleer advice column Let me know if you can tell by my writing that I’m slowly going insane so I can take an informal break from torturing the Internet with my endless well of words.
Maybe your dog needs something he’s never had before.– Some perverted drunk guy just said this to me while I was walking my dog. :( What does that even MEAN?
my mouth is a triathlete
Unless my college boyfriend legally changed his last name again, I think he might have found out that I told the entire Internet that he’s in a cult and that his fiance dumped him because I’M PRETTY SURE HE DELETED ME ON FACEBOOK. OH WELL. [Update: Forget it. He didn’t delete me. Heeheehee.] [Update 2: See attached photo]
i hate my mailman →
Got some important feelings about my mailman out in my newest piece for Thought Catalog.
Last night Ed and I saw Kathy Griffin at Yogurtland and we freaked the fuck out!!! Kathy Griffin at Yogurtland?!? How could my Saturday night get any better?
The Death of the Romantic Gesture →
I was going to get an iPhone to replace my broken Blackberry today. I don’t need to get into the logistics, but as I was handing over my debit card to charge the $800 non-negotiable fee, I got so sweaty and dizzy I just was like, “I CAN’T DO THIS, NEVERMIND,” and I ran out of the store like some runaway bride. I have been a Verizon customer for SEVEN YEARS. Can you even...
these popular girls invited me over to hang out...
tangents and the times →
My girl Marissa has been working on this for months. My friends Jackie and Alan are in it and as you can see, it’s lookin’ aweeeeesome. Hollywood, give this lady a call.
totally confident and completely insecure →
While I was camped out at Sophia’s working last week, I got to spend some time with her friend Erin, who is calm (but can be excited!) and super nice (but not in an obnoxious way) and really down-to-earth. Basically: Great lady. Would like to have her around more. She’s not just Sophia’s friend and my acquaintance, though! She’s a really fun/funny blogger. She’s a...
Sara just came out of her room and when she came into the kitchen she looked completely devastated and like she’d been crying and before I could say anything, she said, “I had a dream they gave me a penis.”
aunt saragh (the one who loves princess diana) is... →
she’s mostly using it for a computer class she’s taking, but i hope that if more people follow her, she’ll get a little more personal. :D
‘Last year, for my friend’s birthday, my gift to her was to stay off my...– I was quoted in the NY Times for being a really good person, guys.
Hey, don’t delete that. I was only halfheartedly watching some of those...– Me, to Sara, after tonight’s American Idol episode. I couldn’t stop laughing at myself in my brain while I brushed my teeth.
casting call (los angeles only)
Casting a new webseries in the Los Angeles area. If you are or know any of the following please be ready. Date: April 18th (after 3PM,) 19th, 20th 2011 LOCATION: TBD *Please arrive camera ready. There will be hair & make-up for touch ups only. For clothing, no white, no logos and no stripes. Be prepared with a one minute version and a thirty second or less version of your own story. Extra...
I Hate Voicemail →
I really, really do.
Me: Ummm, Scott Peterson TOTALLY killed his wife.
Sasha: You know your stuff.
Think I may have learned this move from her.
lost my mind for a minute
I’m watching a pretty well-known Lifetime movie and the part where she’s homeless is so painful for me to watch that I don’t even care that I already know she’s going to Harvard. I can’t decide whether or not changing the channel will make me the biggest wuss in the game. Solution: I’m just going to fast forward to the part where she gets a top-notch education.