I tried to pay attention, but attention paid me– Lil’ Wayne (via kindafabulous)
i value these exchanges more than anything.
Me: Why haven’t you been arrested by the idiot police, by the way? Ed: Ew. Fuck you, lesbo.
Oh, I’m sorry. I can no longer contribute to Brad Pitt’s wealth or...– Ed, on why he wont see Moneyball with me.
Wagandstuff ate something that was tangled in a piece of Sara’s long hair recently, so he dragged a piece of his shit down the street for what seemed like seven hours just a moment ago. After watching him walk around like, “Why isn’t this exiting my body, mom?” for a little bit too long, I reached down and pulled the hair out of his asshole with my hand, which was...
At the end of the night, when the valet pulled my car up, I got in and put on...– KiNdAfaBuLous: Moments This is true! What Ed says is true! I got in some Persian dude’s Beemer all drunk on champagne a couple weeks ago and it was only when he stuck his little head through the window and was like, “Are you coming with me, sweetie?” that I realized I was in the...
Why do apartment doors even have deadbolts? As if a deadbolt has ever stopped anyone who wanted to rob or murder you from doing so, right? I figure that a deadbolt is, at most, a way to delay the murdering process, and as someone who doesn’t really need to be alive for an extra thirty seconds of terror, I’ve decided to stop locking mine. I live on the second floor. What am I going to...
is tom waits a drunker, sadder bruce springsteen?...
i read he’s sober now. why are there so many sober people now? is drinking bad for you?
'long island medium' is the best
Love the hot, bitchy daughter and I want her to talk 2 my nana & gramps.
I woke myself up at 7:30 this morning by screaming my own name in my sleep. I am such a broken weirdo.
My Roommate and I Saw ‘Drive’ →
Sara and I swooned over Ryan Gosling for seven minutes and put it on HelloGiggles
How about this: You shut your mouth or I’ll kick your teeth down your throat and...– DRIVE (via movingsideways) When he said this, I giggled nervously into my sleeve until my glasses fogged up. That really happened in a human’s life.
watch the '2 Broke Girls' pilot on cbs.com →
and join us next Monday on CBS at 8:30 for episode two, “2 Broke Girls and the Breakup Scene”
i don't like laugh tracks either
I’m seeing a ton of feedback about 2 Broke Girls and almost all of it is so great that I can’t even believe that I’m in anyway associated with the show, but YO! THAT LAUGHTER AIN’T CANNED! IT’S NOT ADDED IN POST! We film in front of a live studio audience, so when something funny happens and you hear laughter, those are real people. You can actually distinctly hear...
With my favorite broke girl (and Morgan’s flip flops)
You are the reason/ I have seen endless amounts/ Of women get raped.– Caragh’s haiku about Elliot Stabler kills it!
If your living space is a reflection of your mental state, then that would explain why there’s a basket full of magic markers and stray pills on top of a dog cage that’s pushed into the corner of my bedroom.
re: law and order svu's "web"
I’ve never been a parent, but I can go ahead and tell you that if your child has been drugged, kidnapped, tied to a bed and awoken only to be raped repeatedly by a pedophile four times his age for three whole days, “How are you doing?” is far from the first thing you should say to him.
I was at Melrose and Highland coming home from work and I saw a teenage nerd with a melancholic expression walking a few paces behind a homeless man. He was looking intently at a man and my immediate thought was that he must be some sort of boy genius spy and that he must be trailing this homeless man, looking for clues. After staring at them for a moment longer, I realized that, facially, they...
join @iamchadgreer and i tonight at 7 PM PST for... →
Have fun this weekend, but remember: If you do cocaine, you’re going to wind up at a Denny’s at five AM, calling some waitress a “fucking bitch” for not serving you alcohol with your pancake bites that you never even intended to eat and then immediately crying and wondering what the hell has happened to your life.