I just found out about Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith’s open marriage and I am shocked. Shocked!

Gay rumors about both of them aside, if I ever said what I just wrote above in front of my co-workers, they’d look at me and be like, “Molly. Molly, honey. Molly. C’mon!”

Because I guess you’re supposed to just accept that people are like, animals or something. Like, I guess you’re just supposed to accept that the Fresh Prince and the chick from Woo are boning randoms and then going home and getting in the same bed and then looking at each other later and not thinking, “I know what you did… and it breaks my heart.”

I’ve admitted here before that I understand there are major flaws in my idea of romance (my favorite movie is True Romance because I’d like to think that all of that could really happen and maybe it could happen to a lady like me!) but I just can’t with these open marriages! It’s not that I’m upset at people for having them, but I don’t know how they pull that off.

I would cry every day of my life if I was in an open marriage and I can accept that maybe that makes me sound emotionally unsophisticated and that I may continue to ride alone throughout my adult life because of it. I have a certain set of standards I just can’t fuck with.

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