My back hurts really badly. So does my neck. I’m really tired, but not as tired as I should be considering I didn’t sleep on the plane. The lady next to me kept freaking out that she was going to barf, and I was like “Damn, motion sickness is still real? That’s so 70s.” Plus I had the aisle seat so I’d be keeping her from her destiny (the bathroom) if she did get barfy. I’m quite over all this hustling that I have to do to keep myself alive. I keep thinking that maybe I should just “give in” and get an office job and maybe learn some new skillz or something in case my life continues to slowly crumble around me, but that seems unhappy and maybe a bit dramatic. I’ve only been back in LA for four hours, but I miss my mom so much that I want her to divorce my step dad and come live with me. I’ve told her this directly. Don’t worry, Gregg. I think she loves you a lot and won’t leave you to come brush her 25 year old daughter’s hair in Los Angeles.

I am happy to be back in my fairly comfy bed. I missed my dog so much and he’s just as cute as I remembered, maybe even a little more. I’m so lucky to have a BFF 2 tha death like Ed who will pick me up at the airport and tell me I look beautiful and a fantastic girlfriend like Sara who will stay at my house and watch my dog while watching my Oprah DVDs and crying. It’s nice to have cool girls to talk to about things like Oprah with. We were laying on my bed tonight as she was telling me about the tampons that came with her second hand purse and we were laughing so hard that it felt like high school. In general, I’m pretty happy about the amount of time I spend laughing. I’ve been dating my dude for a long ass time and I still think he’s smokin’ hot and has the best teeth in the game. I really like my new belt and the “adult dress” I got at my mom’s store when I was home. I could wear it to a cocktail party on a private jet. I’m fortunate to have developed a great friendship with my cousin Fiona, who was the bane of my existence for the first twelve years of my life before we figured out how to co-exist. Now she’s one of the only people in the world I completely cherish. I love my time with her. There’s something really crazy about growing up with someone your whole life and then being adults and talking about adult things and remembering in the back of your head the time you got in to a slap fight on the couch at the summer house over a handful of Sweedish Fish. It’s Friday.