Yeah, that’s my air mattress behind me. You can see my body pillow, James Franco. Hi, Jimmy.

So, this shirt is something I found the day I found my jean jacket at St. Vincent’s. Sara told me not to get it and I was like, “Damn. Is Sara my real friend? Why doesn’t she want me to have cool fashions? Do my fashions threaten Sara?” That was a difficult day for me emotionally, but I powered through. Sara is an excellent friend, by the way. I think I was just on a permanent good one that she wasn’t ever going to experience that day. I wound up getting the shirt ‘cause it really spoke to me. I wasn’t sure why until tonight.

YOU GUYS! If this shirt was red, it would totally be a Clarence from True Romance shirt. Damn. I love the fashions in that movie. I have even attempted to replicate Patricia Arquette’s haircut from that movie on my head. You think that’s the dorkiest shit I’ve ever said? Fine. I was the administrator on a Degrassi: The Next Generation message board IN COLLEGE. Let’s all get the fuck over ourselves. Skeletons! Skeletons! Lil Wayne will be in prison by the time I wake up, nothing in this world matters any more!

So yeah, that’s my new look, you guys. Dude from True Romance. Prolly do me in this shirt with some fun shorts in the summer. Just chillin’ in my Clarence shirt regardless of my location. Doing me to the fullest for days.

P.S. Think the bed bugs are way gone. My marks are almost completely faded (sexxxaaayy) and like… I’m thinking baby girl might be able to function out of her closet again real soon. Being stripped of the right to enjoy my clothing has inspired me. THIS is what Nelson Mandela was talking about! NelsNels. <3

P.P.S. Saying “real talk” feels mad over to me because it’s overused and like, you know when some one’s talking about their abortion that it’s “real talk” for the most part. For me anyway, pointing it out cheapens the natural “feeling things” experience because then I have to stop and think about what feeling it is you want me to be having. Obviously what we’re talking about means more to you than me. Or something. Look, it’s as played as your favorite porno. Ovah. I just wanted to put that out there because I’m about to go to bed and like, a sister needs to DREAM.

P.P.P.S. Sold my arms on eBay. :(