My BFF from high school Bethany, who’s totally getting married to my cousin Dennis cause I set them up like, eight years ago ‘cause I’m amazing and I know when people are right for each other, we used to watch the Real World/Road Rules challenges mad religiously. 

OK, does anyone remember the season with Holly, that girl with the curly hair and that dude Dan with the face like a hot puppy dog? Damn. That season was so amazing. Bethany and I would roll up on the 10 Spot with a bag of Cool Ranch and some DCs (Diet Cokes) like it wasn’t even a thing! Every week! It was our passion!

So remember that? So that season at the end of one episode, they got to some camp site or whatever after their challenge and SISTER HAZEL was there singing a song. Sister Hazel sucks, kind of. Right? Like, probably a lot. If you were drunk already and a Sister Hazel song came on you’d prolly be like, “LOL”, but in a way where you knew they were kind of just wishing they were as amazing as the Gin Blossoms or maybe even Bare Naked Ladies in terms of turning out amazing 90s hits that penetrate your soul on a deep level. Right? OK. 

So Sister Hazel comes out and they’re like “OMG, RW/RR KIDS, COME JAM!” and then they cut to Holly in her interview, and I always considered Holly to be a little too smart for the show up until this moment, and she says, “I can’t believe that today we were climbing this amazing mountain and now we’re singing on stage with Sister Hazel.”

I remember being like, 14 and watching that and being like, “Your priorities are shot, girl.” Cause Sister Hazel isn’t even that cool, right? WAS SISTER HAZEL COOL? DO I NOT GET SISTER HAZEL? I’m super willing to accept that maybe I’m not on Sister Hazel’s level because I almost trust Holly? I almost trust that climbing a mountain and jamming out with Sister Hazel is amazing, but I’m not convinced. 

When I was 14, my life goal was to answer phones at a telethon and I did it. PBS. OK? Big, big telethon. You can always build off your dreams, basically.