I need to talk about the nightmare I had last night.

I was dating this guy. He was blond, which I normally hate, but he was nice and looked like a 90s babe, so I went with it.

Then one day he was like, “I’m not going to take your shit anymore.”

And I was like, “Ahhh! What?!”

And the whole rest of the dream was him hunting me down and torturing me. Like, he constantly had a boner and he’d poke my rib cage with it really hard. And I’d tell him to stop and he’d grab me by my hair and smash my head into a wall made of rocks and then make me sit on his lap.

And people in this guys’ life knew he was psychotic and kept coming up to him and saying to him, “I think you should come with me” but he never did. And whenever I would try to scream or say, “call 911”, my voice wouldn’t work. I could talk, but never when it mattered.

I had no one in my life in the dream, no one who could help me get away from this guy who was Chinese dick torturing my rib cage with his ever-present boner, but I knew that the people he knew were aware of what was going on. And I started to hate them. And there was one scene in the dream where I was in a European bare-bones deli and the blond guy was squeezing my hand so tightly I couldn’t get away and I tried to spit in the deli guy’s face but the spit couldn’t get any traction and just dribbled down my own face.

I must have been poking myself in my sleep because my left ribs are still sore.

Anyway, it was really upsetting.

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