OK, so this morning I was walking back from Coffee Bean and “Blame It On The Alcohol” came on my iPod. I was thinking about it and I decided that that song is probably a forever jam. It has that vibe about it. It’s kinda funny, it’s dancey. It’s got what it needs to be played at weddings for all of eternity.

So I was thinking about that and then I was like, “If I ever have kids and they discover this song and start listening to it ironically, that’s going to be really annoying.” ‘Cause like, after 2009, I don’t need to hear that song more than once a month, at the very very most, for the rest of my life.

I thought about how what my future kids would probably find hilarious about the song is the autotuned chorus, specifically the “a-a-a-a-a-alcohol” part. Because that’s so ridiculous. It’s such a ridiculous thing to have in a song. And it’s so unique to that time in music, I feel like. When we’re wondering what will stand out about our generation the way we think of our parents in bell bottoms, it’s probably going to be shit like that (which you know makes me want to kill myself, but we can talk about that more later.)

Then I tried to decide how you’d explain autotune to a child living in the future. And I had a memory: My BFF Bethany and I sitting in her parents’ Fun Room (I think it was called the Fun Room) listening to “Baba O’Reilly” by the Who. We went through this whole Who stage sophomore and junior year of high school. Yes, I’m bragging about how cool and popular I was in high school. Again.

Bethany’s dad, Steve (I love you, Steve Folger), came in the room and he stood over us and he was like, “You like The Who, huh? You know that song is the first song that ever used a synthesizer.”

BAM! Right?! Shit! It’s kind of like that. Except with autotune. Because you wanna know why? Because we’ve failed.

Have a great day, guys.